“Oh there’s a very pleasant side to you, a side I much prefer.
It’s one that, laughs and jokes around, remember cuddles in the kitchen yeah…
To get things off the ground and it was up, up and away…
Oh, but it’s right hard to remember that on a day like today when you’re all argumentative and you’ve got the face on…”
Mardy Bum – Arctic Monkey
The idea of writing about Mardy Bum had been inside my head several weeks ago, but I was such a great procrastinator because I was in the middle of my excitement in water painting.
I really enjoy Arctic Monkey, especially Alex Turner’s sexy voice that’s hypnotizing both males and females all around the globe. Their songs are pretty genius in term of lyrics as well as the music itself, total eargasm.
Anyway… I really love how Alex creates such lyrics, the words he chooses for most of AM’s songs are very catchy and quirky sometimes, the themes of the songs are quite vary, from love story, relationship, to random day to day thoughts. I just feel so keen to analyze one of AM songs called “Mardy Bum”, first because it sounds catchy and happy at first but seems full of rage and frustration at the end, second because the Mardy Bum itself is just very easy to be linked with passive aggressive attitude.
Mardy means angry, peevish, and everything associated with bad mood and aggravation. Here Alex tried to blatantly explain the girl’s attitude with how he called her “Mardy Bum”. He said that the girl is all about unstable emotion, he first shows his regret towards his sad and angry girlfriend but at the end when the bridge comes up with its dynamical tone, we can hear that he starts to get emotional and frustrated with her endless blame on him (good job, the music gets me into more dramatic mood. Love it AM!).
It seems that Mardy Bum is a sort of passive aggressive girl with uncertain mood. Apparently it’s quite common to find passive aggressive person around us, and if the things get worse, that attitude is included as a disorder.
Some people may have that sort of passive aggressive attitude sometimes, that’s all inside us, such as: stubbornness, procrastination (like postponing blog maybe? I hope that’s not included), deliberate mistake just to frustrate someone we have a grudge/anger to. Based on Merriam Webster dictionary this attitude can be defined as:
“Being, marked by, or displaying behavior characterized by the expression of negative feelings, resentment, and aggression in an unassertive passive way (as through procrastination and stubbornness).”
Sound harmless but it’s a form of mental torment that someone does to others with different motives: a crave of attention, anger, revenge, and sort of things due to the “more acceptable” aggression rather than spit it out explicitly. It’s totally damaging and it’s widespread all over places, from a relationship to work environment. There are seven major reasons why passive aggressive is much preferable at some situations:
- Anger is not socially acceptable
- Being passive is a lot easier than being assertive
- It’s rational-bending behavior: playing victim, excuses, pretending
- Very powerful at playing someone’s emotion
It seems like a silent killer with efficient manner to ruin other people emotionally, this may drag into depression and frustration which somehow are the doer’s intention. To avoid such a potential train-wrecked situation with the passive aggressive people, always identify the sort of answer/words the passive aggressive people usually say so you may figure out how to escape from his/her passive sabotage:
- “I’m not mad” – but they show withdrawal.
- “Fine” – the real “fine” means no frown face showed to make you feel guilty.
- “Yeah, I’ll do it” – they will do it, but not in a way we expect they do.
- “I didn’t know what you mean” – they know it, but they act like they don’t.
- “Why are you so upset? Why are you never satisfied?” – they play victim as if you are such a demanding evil.
- “Yes” – which actually means “no”.
- “Don’t be too serious about what I’ve said.” – they act like they don’t mean it, but they do.
- “That seems nice for a person like you” – they are totally underrated you with their sarcasm.
Some of the words aren’t meant to be a mere passive aggressive people with disorder may say it all the time to fulfill their enjoyment in torturing someone’s mentally, all of us have the potential to be the passive aggressive at certain situation, because somehow not everything in our mind can be uttered unfiltered and too frankly to others no matter how mad we are into something, being assertive is not as easy as it sounds.
So… are you okay with passive aggressive? Because sometimes I’m okay with it.