Prose: Do I Miss You?

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Between Lights and Memories – Gouache on Canvas Paper (2016)

It has been 7 years not seeing you again, maybe you’re out there falling in love with someone else. I might spend my time mumbling about random things to you if you let me, but I don’t want to waste your time because we might not see each other again.

Do I miss you?

I remember the day I sent you a stupid piece of writing I took from “10 Things I Hate About You”. You asked me “what’s wrong with my shoes?” and I said that I just hated the way you wore your big red boots because I loved seeing you in sneakers instead.

Do you remember when we called each other every night no matter how many times we met during the day? Or when you called me while I was pissed because we were faraway from each other and you started to tell a dog’s love story to cheer me up? Do you remember the day I called you just to tell how my day was even though we had lunch together in the same day?

I remember the time when I drove at night to your flat when I suddenly missed you with no reason. Even we had to keep it silent because I might wake your roommate for being too loud and over excited while hugging you when I arrived. Later we talked about secrets and we kissed in a dark. We fell asleep in your bed with my clothes on because we felt the intimacy created from a deep talk not sexual intercourse. From the first night to many many nights after, with deeper talk and ugly tees we wore.

I also reckon the moment when you drove for three hours just to have lunch and dinner with me on Sunday. Then I suggested you a weird place to hang out because I ran off the idea. We still enjoyed that between kebab and stupid conversations.

Do you remember when we went out for some ice creams during the exam week? When you taught me one subject that I nailed it with higher score than you got? Or the day we studied together in the same ice cream shop but ended up talking about random stuffs again?

But then I walked away, I pushed you away before you left me and took me for granted. I didn’t know why I chose to believe it. I never wanted to be the last one in pain, nor the last one who waited the story crumbling by itself. I wanted to be selfish because it avoided me from losing more of your kindness and memories of us.

Do I miss you?

Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

From: “An Ode Of Memories” (2014) with moderation.

Bold Women

Bold women are amazing, they might look vulnerable outside but they are strong and determined inside. They are smart at poker face but it doesn’t mean they are fake, they are just very wise at showing their feeling to public. Their eyes are enchanting, those will show you the most passionate stare you might ever seen. Not because they are good at teasing, it’s just their inner beauty that contains power and intelligence flaunted without them trying.

They are never running out of topics to talk about, but they surely get bored to death when you lead them to shallow conversation. These bold women don’t like mere hot body of yours, they are obsessed with brain if you have one. You don’t seduce them with words, seduce them with knowledge.

Don’t ever think these bold women will stumble and fall to get you back, in fact they will walk away and leave you in despair. They are too precious to cry for men, they have no time to pity themselves seeing your old photographs. They are forged with bad experiences, those make them unbeaten diamonds.

Bold women don’t need 24/7 attention, they’re too busy with their achievement. You may find it challenging but they are not your favorite game to play, they may seem easy to get along with but you never know what actually is. Are you those risk takers?

“Handmade” Wedding

This topic is out of the normal context I usually write, but I just kinda feel like talking about my #majorthrowbackmoment in October 2016.

Nowadays outdoor party is very popular among the young couple, but my husband and I already craved for this since years before it was even booming. It’s my dream wedding since I was in the college.

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The Wine of Loneliness

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Source: pixabay.com

Cheers you said
I frown and feel dead

What are we celebrating?
Is it a moment where you’re leaving?

One last glass of wine to end it all
In a memory of despair we fall

Through the goods and bads we had
Just like a smile that seems like sad

I love to see your eyes and lips,
The only thing I wish to keep
Every night and day in every beat.

Our past is like a ghost
But it’s always been the only thing I love the most.

Perfect Soulmate

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Wedding Day (2016) – SketchBook Pro for iPad

Maybe some of my readers aren’t single and devoted, or maybe some of you aren’t single but still looking for better companion, or you are totally single and ready to mingle. Whatever your status is… no matter how big your crush towards anybody and call em perfect, you’ll never find them perfect at the end. They’re just humans and humans aren’t perfect at all.

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Story of The Three Women

This is the story of the three young women against the odds, they live in unconventional life. They are strangers in their own world, they are not like others, but they are one of the kind. You may love them, you may hate them, there’s no wrong to take sides. Now come closer, let me tell their story for you…

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Susan Sontag on Love (and Sex)

 

Sontag – Paper by 53 for iPad

I wish I could be as eloquent and clever as her, she’s an idol… well for me, she is.

Is anybody ever read her works?

Among many of her brilliant essays and writings, I’ve always attracted with her writing about love and its correlation with sex. Shall both go together? Some may say yes.

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